Beauty from Ugliness

“The people who make a difference are not the ones with most credentials but the ones with the compassion” – Max Lucado

I have often wondered how an ordinary woman from some ambiguous country can come into one of the largest countries in the world and serve the poorest of the poor so well that she was the recipient of that country’s highest honour. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu became Mother India by choosing to see beauty in ugliness. We must respect and admire people like that simply for the reason that we may never be able to achieve what they did. (Although some of us may, in our dreams!)

Waiting for bus to get home one evening; I have encountered a most repulsive being. Lost in my thoughts, I felt something moving on my right side. As I turned, I saw a man, well! actually an egg shaped head with an owl eye on one side and an elephant eye on the other (Actually, he resembled one of those crooked creatures in LOTR trilogy. Please don’t shame yourself by asking what is LOTR). Attached to the egg head, was a pumpkin with one hand that was twisted beyond hope and one leg was shorter than the other one. I just had to turn my eyes away in convulsion. It really was the ugliest sight I have ever seen. As the initial shock wave passed, I became curious, so I sat watching him with a corner eye. He was leaning on to the bus-stand railing, clothed in torn clothes, face shabby, and looked very drowsy.

My mind was filled with million thoughts. “Oh! God, what a horrible condition… I wish I could do something…I wish I have the power to make him a human being…but what could I do, I am powerless…I am not God….” While my thought process was in full swing, I saw that somehow he managed to pluck himself from the railing and moved towards a young couple that were on the other edge of the railing. I can see a loathing look in the eyes of the guy, the same look I had at first. The Ugly head was saying something and the boy was frantically waving away his hands, even as the girl simply turned her head away and sat as if nothing really is happening there.

Then, to my horror, he turned to where I was sitting. As he dragged himself along the railing towards me, I panicked. Feverishly I searched my pockets for some change, as I assumed he was begging for money. The least I can do for him is give at least a two rupee coin. To my dismay, I only had five rupees, and that’s exactly what I needed to get back home. My face turned paler and paler even as he was inching closer and closer. I wanted to help him, but I didn’t have anything to give him. Oh God! please help me.  The closer he came the faster my heart was beating. A sudden urge to disappear gushed in.

I would have quietly got up from my place and walked away, if I had not seen his face. When he was seated far away I could only see the egg head, but now as I looked at his dust filled face, a distorted drooling mouth caught the attention of my eyes and I suddenly turned numb.  My legs just gave away and got stuck to ground. My eyes bulging out of their socket, watched helplessly as the hideous head arrived. He was saying something, I was still petrified at the sight of him. I just wanted to run away. After what felt like an eternity, as if someone hit me on my head, I jolted and came back to senses. And what I heard with my ears, at that moment, changed my life forever.

“Bhayya, can you help me cross the road. My tricycle is on the other side of the road.”

Now, I understand why Mother Teresa is a Mother and I am a Moron. I guess, the probability of us starting destitute homes, orphanages, hospitals, and changing the world, as saints like Mother Teresa, are as remote as Yuvraj Singh making 10000 test runs. But I realized, what made Mother Teresa worthy of Bharat Ratna. – She chose to ‘LISTEN’.

The ugliest person I have ever stumbled upon, taught me a simple and yet the most profound lesson – If I can leave my prejudices aside and choose to listen first, I can really make a difference. Beauty from Ugliness, the oxymoron of life!

next time let’s talk about Blindness…ciao!

Indiblogger, Strangers and Bliss

My Journey as a blogger (Ok..ok…I know, I am just 10 posts old!) began sometime around October 2010. I happened to attend a conference on Creative Influence. I don’t know what I thought but I chose a track on Creative Writing. Until then I have never attempted writing seriously. I am a Pastor of a church, so I did write some stuff as articles for some magazines with a circulation of some 50 subscriptions. I know that does not count for serious writing.

Anyway at this conference, with this brilliant writer talking so much about the influence writing can have on the lives of people, I was provoked, challenged into and emotionally charged up to write a book. Our trainer spoke about the importance of writing blogs before attempting to write a book.

With my spirits up and an aim of writing a book, my pen racing like Michael Schumacher, and hoping to influence everyone with nation’s best seller, I started a blog. (I still can’t figure out, how i convinced myself that i can write a nation’s best seller.) At the first attempt I wrote three posts without a pause and then I Paused…..and man! what a pause it was…an year long! My mind couldn’t budge even an inch into the thinking zone and all excitement died with it.

Now one year later, by some friend’s comment on his facebook page i was coerced into writing a post. Within last four weeks I have finished seven posts and this is my eighth. And I am still writing and excited….entered into Writer’s Bliss zone….  So, I asked myself why this sudden change and why am i still continuing?

You see, four weeks back when I wrote my first post on “Should we or Not? Heroes – Stories”, which basically rises a thought on should we follow heroes and attempt great things like them, a fellow blogger friend gave a friendly advise to me. He suggested that I should join Indiblogger in order to gain a wider recognition and feedback for my blog.

Until then the only publicity I did was to paste some excerpts of my post on my facebook page for my friends to see and hope that they will read it and encourage me. Alas! except for two consistent friends of mine (What they saw in my writing is a mystery), no one really showed any interest. But now, I am not able to stop blogging and I realized there are two reasons behind it…indiblogger and strangers.

Once I registered my self at Indiblogger, people whom I have never met in my entire life, people who are not even in my friends list have taken time to look at my blog and some actually dared to vote for me and then some of them are insane enough to make encouraging comments on my post. I am indebted to these wonderful strangers. It is because of them I am continuing to write. My blog is experiencing a ridiculous number of hits. All because of indiblogger.

Indiblogger has become such a brilliant platform that brings some remarkable writers together. Thank you indiblogger and the team behind, you have given me a reason to do something with my dull mind, to become a better person and healthier writer. It’s such a beautiful experience to have Strangers as friends. Thank you Strangers (Now, my virtual friends) for your encouragement. Thank you for patting my back. Without you, I would have by now hit the wall in my head. (It is also possible I would have hit the wall with my head too)

How long this bliss will continue, I do not know…but I suspect as long as indiblogger exists, and as long as these strangers on the other side keep hitting my blog, it’s going to be a long bliss….

Live One Day At a Time!

Attempting heroism or doing something crazy is generally not our career option. Once in a blue moon, inspired by some historical figure and their achievements, we become inclined to take steps towards a change. Emotionally charged up by some brilliant quote, we dare to take a risk and set ourselves for a new challenge. We lay down goals, define objectives, strategize and gamble a little discomfort in our routine life. Some of us even risk  a chance of failure. We are all set and are ready to be successful.

While some of us are going to live up to the expectations, many of us will be washed up in failure. Disappointment follows us in every endeavour we chanced. We are fighters, we don’t give up that easily. So we will pick ourselves and move ahead, hoping to hit the goal some where along the road. In this journey, as we consistently encounter set backs, our resolutions weaken. Disillusionment kicks in. It hurts when we fail, it is really disheartening when the occurrence of malfunction is consistent. Even as we lose the grip on our resolutions, we hope and wait for ‘that one big’ opportunity. But even ‘that big one’ doesn’t present itself. Ultimately we throw the arms down and conclude, ‘May be, we are better the way we are now’. Why try hero stuff?

I think in entire process of heroes, stories, quotes, lessons, inspirations, emotional charges, resolutions, attempts, failures, bumping into walls, waiting for opportunities, experiencing failures again and finally giving up, we miss our biggest asset: TODAY. We utterly disregard the importance of living one day at a time.

Importance of Today

“Fact is we exaggerate yesterday, we overestimate tomorrow, and we underestimate today: People create success in their lives by focussing on today” – Equip

I generally write down everything I think for my blog in a note book. On it’s cover there is a simple statement, but I think it is very powerful. It says, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”. It is absolutely true. Today is not only the first day, but it is the best day of your life, it is the big opportunity you have been waiting for, and it is the only day on which you can do something. Truth is, it is too late for yesterday, yesterday is gone. You can’t depend on tomorrow, you don’t know what tomorrow holds. Therefore you are left with Today, and what you do with today matters most. The way you choose to invest your time today directly affects your tomorrow.

No matter how much I write and encourage, all of it will not make sense to you, until you choose to believe in today. Not just to believe, but what you do with it is of great consequence. We will be able to make use of today effectively when we change our perspectives. Change should be brought about  both in our perspective of success and as well as in our perspective of problems in the path to success.

Success – Importance of Bits and Pieces

We generally have a faulty view of success, and that leads to underutilization of today. We believe success is impossible, or that it is luck or we associate it with hard work and attaining power, or we strive to achieve it through connections and recognitions and we fall flat on faces. Some may have created some sensation following those ideas, but eventually all the hype will die down in true light. Some of us have a slogan, repeating which we spend our entire life– “If Only…”

What we need to understand is that Success is relative. It is different for each person. You cannot live somebody else’s glory. All of us cannot become Abdul Kalam or Manmohan or Kiran Bedi or Aamir Khan. For one person, giving up a well paying job and pursuing film making is success; even if the first film fails. For another walking on to the dais in front of an audience of five colleagues and delivering a five minute introduction about himself is  success. For a chronic smoker, spending an entire day with a single smoke is success. For someone who is extremely shy, even asking a girl’s name is success. Success depends on what each person achieves day in and day out.

The secret behind many successful people is that they choose to live one day at a time. Instead of waiting for tomorrow’s big opportunity, and sitting in their cosy couch today, they choose to achieve something each day and then look forward to the next day. Something marvellous takes place with these kind of people. Everyday, success in small scales, in bits and pieces gets accumulated in their lives. Today’s success adds up to what that person achieves tomorrow and the cycle continues, till one day the culmination of all these would spell a Mahindra Singh Dhoni or Amartya Sen or YOU.

We suffer with destination disease. We convince ourselves that if we are supposed to be successful, then we will be. No, we are dead wrong.  We need to wake up and make choices today. Making right decisions and managing them daily is the formula of success. Success is in our daily agenda. Someone said, “Never postpone what you can do today to tomorrow. Chances are tomorrow never arrives.” If we can choose to develop a perspective that says, ‘I will achieve the best I can today and then wait for tomorrow’, we will make a difference in and through our lives. You can then attain what you have been dreaming all along.

Problem – Turn the Table Around

Journey to success is never easy. Hurdles, bumps and thorns are inevitable. We will encounter problems; a new crisis arises there, a complication shoots up here, unexpected issues take place among team members leading us to a frustrated state. It seems as if we are surrounded by more nuisance, than before the resolution. What used be a comfortable life before resolutions now turns into a complicated life. Our focus now moves from our actual goal to dealing with present problems. Objective becomes obscure and we are fending off troubles and trying to get out as quickly as possible. It is exactly there, we lose the battle. But that’s not what we want, is it?

Since problems are predictable, we must learn the art of facing problems. I suggest we learn to reframe our response-ability in order to increase our achieve-ability. Viktor Frankl was one among the millions of Jews, who had to endure the horrors of the holocaust. Nazis took everything away from them; even their names, and gave them numbers. Years after this horrific experience he writes, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” The most important choice you make everyday is your attitude. Your perspective of problem decides whether or not you will be a victor.

In order to turn the table around as we encounter problems, we must learn two truths. These truths will help us to develop a new perspective of our problems, help us to look at them as opportunities instead of problems. The first truth is, adversity is often the seedbed of opportunity. Bad situations have a tendency to bring the best out of us. We get more creative, innovative and wise when we are thrown against a wall. Adversity can produce an increased capacity in us to become better people. We all want everyday to be a good day. But if all the days are good days, there would be no ‘good days’. Bad days help us to appreciate good days. The second truth is, getting what we wish for can result in unintended and undesirable consequences. A sociologist called Robert Merton calls this, the law of Unintended consequences. Do you remember the Greek mythological story, Midas Touch? Sometimes when things go wrong, be thankful because it might turn out be a blessing in disguise. These problems probably will save us from unintended consequences.

Once we understand these truths and reframe our perspective of problem, living one day at time becomes easy. We may not be able to face all the days and years together, but we can surely face one day at a time. My challenge to you is learn to live one day at a time. It is then failure won’t seem like a problem, hurdles are easier to cross, resolutions can be renewed, fears can be faced, giants can be forced to fall, and adventurous living can be a pleasure.

Let me finish my series with this short quote from an author called, Mark Batterson.

“Here’s what i have learned from personal experience: Sickness helps us appreciate health. Failure helps us appreciate success. Debt helps us appreciate wealth. And tough times help us appreciate the good times. That’s just the way life is. I’ve also learned that our worst days can become our best days.”

Until next time…learn to appreciate your problems.

Technorati Tags: problems,today,disappointment,resolutions,unintended consequences,adversity,destination,opportunity,midas touch

Risk the chance of Failure

One of the biggest fears we face is, typically regarding our future. It is natural to experience fear when we suddenly lose our job, or told by doctors that our child is suffering from a rare bone disease or something like that. When our future is in jeopardy and we are unsure of what is next, we struggle to make decisions. We usually are careful in touching the water when it comes to those life altering decisions. It is natural and in a sense it is healthy. If we are not smart and careful with our life, we lose it for good. Yet some people can be really reckless and dumb in the way they deal with life and important decisions. But majority are sensible and judicious.

 

Being careful is one thing and living in fear is completely another thing. Most of us, while trying to be careful, allow the fear of future get the better of us. Entrapped by fear we feel motionless, life gets squeezed out of us. This uncertainty regarding future probably starts with loss of a job, but now spreads into all the areas of our life. We begin to panic even for trivial issues. That, I believe is unhealthy. Fear has monstrous power. It cripples growth, keeps people in helpless state. Loss of personal confidence, trust in others, developing phobias are inevitable effects of fear.

Disrupting Status Quo!

 

When we are inspired by the stories of great heroes, we make resolutions to follow them and achieve something, even if it is not as great as theirs. May be to pursue a dream career or purchase a beautiful beach house or at least sing in an office party. As we prepare ourselves to move towards that dream, strangely fear engulfs us, it grips our hearts and we begin to hesitate. Many times I wondered what could be the reason behind this vacillation. I suspect our indecision is not because we need to do something heroic, but because we need to do something different. Doing something different means we need to change what is regular. Change in routine, change in our status quo, change in what we are already comfortable with and we don’t like that.

 

Somehow change scares us to death. Disturbing a comfortable life is unpleasant. In an attempt to do something new, as long as change is not required we will be fine. If we feel confident that our future is secure, then we proceed. Doing something heroic then, is not a big deal. But the moment we realize our next step leads to a blind alley we hesitate, we take a back step. Disrupting the status quo is not our forte.

 

Let me open your eyes. Unless we are willing to change and attempt something we never did, we will never be able to achieve what we have never achieved. If you want to have something you never had, you need to do something you never did. Translation: TAKE A RISK!

 

Everyone is a risk taker.

Whether we realize it or not we are all risk takers. A Pastor in Houston talking about faith said something like this, “We all take risks everyday. When we have a fever we go to a doctor whose full name we cannot remember, he tells us that we have a disease, whose name we cannot pronounce, he then gives us a prescription, which we  cannot even read; we take that to a pharmacist, whom we have never met, he takes out and gives us a medicine, whose combination we cannot understand, but we go home, take it with a glass of water and go to bed peacefully, completely confident that we are going to be cured soon.”

 

Aren’t we all risk takers? Whatever we buy from the market, whether milk, water, cola, vegetables, oil, rice, everything is produced or manufactured by an unknown person, from an unknown location, with possibly unknown ingredients. Yet we purchase and use them without even thinking twice. Point is, we show tremendous trust in these unknown people concerning our daily needs. We are risk takers.

 

But then we are also people with fear. We are scared to take a vacation from a hectic job for the fear losing the job. Scared to leave a job and start a dream business, scared to move up in relationship and get married, sacred to invest in a new venture, scared to face up to an irritating boss, and scared of anything uncertain. That is why for many of us, life is a drag. It is futile, it’s frustrating. Dull.

 

Risk the chance of Failure

You might argue that buying a product at a supermarket is less riskier than leaving a job and starting a business. I don’t agree with that for one simple reason, a risk is a risk, small or big. When you pick a product from a shop, you believe it will work for you, irrespective of the final result. When you take a step towards an uncertain future you are doing the same, believing that it will work. Sometimes it might look stupid, but then an Indian Man buying a fairness cream to become a ‘gora’ is stupid.

 

I think the challenge is, some of us need to risk changing the jobs, leaving jobs, starting business, pursuing your heart, learn guitar, getting married, having children, buying a dream house or trying out “Dance India Dance” or “Indian Idol”. Don’t allow fear to swallow you up. Try smiling at your arch enemy at office, or tell you boss that he is wrong (If he is really wrong, otherwise, it’s a suicide and I am not responsible), or go back to college and finish graduation or propose to the girl you have always admired but never dared even to say hi, or try believing in God. Do something different from what you have been doing so far. I bet your life will take a whole new dimension.

 

Trying something new means we are also risking a chance of failure. Not everyone will be successful in their ventures. Some of us will fail, possibly for thousand reasons. Sometimes risk involves failure. Failure is not a bad thing, if we are willing to learn from our mistakes, rather than sulking. There are plenty of occasions where we fail even when we have not committed any mistake. External factors, circumstantial elements can work against us. Question is what have you lost? If we lost all the money we saved up, in one single new venture, we can always earn it back through other ways. Lost your job for a dream project? You got skills, you got guts, so you will find a new job. It probably might be better than the lost one. Opportunities present themselves to those who keep using them.

 

If you have not lost your life, you have lost nothing. Wealth can be earned back. Jobs can be found. Houses can be bought back. Everything is possible as long as we have life. I strongly believe, when our intentions are right and the path we choose is ethical and correct, we can always gamble a chance of failure. We won’t regret.

“If you think you are beaten, you are; If you think you dare not, you don’t; If you’d like to win but think you cant, it’s almost certain you won’t; Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger and  faster men, but sooner or later, the man wins is the one who thinks he can.”

Next post we shall try to learn living for today.

Unlearn the ‘I Know’ Attitude

In his book, ‘Winning with People’, John Maxwell talks about different kinds of learning attitudes. He says there are basically three types of attitudes: arrogant, naive and teachable. All of us posses one of these attitudes. The Arrogant people think they don't need to learn anything from anyone. Naive people believe only one person can teach them everything, while the teachable people learn from every one and every thing that is around them. He concludes that the people who make an impact on others around them are those who are teachable. I strongly believe he expressed it perfectly.

As we get familiar with stories and lessons of heroic acts we tend to believe that we know it all. That gives birth to indifference which ultimately leads to an ‘I Know it all’ attitude. The other name for this kind of attitude is Pride. (More on this please read – Indifference)

‘I Know it all’ is Dangerous

There is an old saying, “Pride comes before fall”. When a person begins to believe that he knows everything that there is to know, he has taken the path of self-destruction. This attitude is dangerous as it produces damaging results. For starters, it blinds us from all truth. We are shut from any new revelations or further knowledge and this stunts our over all personal growth. Have you not seen those who reached certain positions in their lives, begin to behave as if they don't need anyone to tell them anything any more? What they don’t realize is that this attitude actually hurts them more. This kind of attitude keeps us in the same place we are in now and we don't grow to newer heights. Another danger is that we end up making the same mistakes all over. Since we are not open to learn, and we believe that we know everything and that everything we are doing is perfect and right, we become blind to our own mistakes. We continue to flunk again and again, and not able to figure out what’s wrong. The most damaging aspect is that we strain our relations with others. We need to understand that we can’t survive in this world alone. You can’t change that truth. And our arrogant attitude hurts our relationships. When we begin to behave as if we don’t need others, misunderstandings take birth, egos get clashed, people begin distance themselves from us and relationships crash.

Truth is we are not born with this attitude, we all have learnt it. Hence the good news is we can unlearn it. Getting rid of ‘I Know’ attitude is possible if we are willing to ‘pay attention’. Willingness to listen helps us to become teachable.

Pay Attention

The most difficult part in unlearning process is to agree that we are arrogant. People don't agree they are full of pride, they rationalize, minimize or deny it. So it takes honesty to have a real look at your ‘self’ and come to terms with your attitude. When a person can agree that he has been prideful, then it is easy for him become a learner.

Once an argument broke out between the disciples of Jesus. It was on who can is the greatest among them. Since they could not come to a conclusion (which is obvious) they came to Jesus for solution. At that time, Jesus was surrounded by many people who came to listen to Him, and there were also children. Jesus then called one child to Him, and made the kid stand in the middle of all these people and disciples and said “Unless you become like this child, you will not be the greatest”. Now that’s a radical thought!

I believe, Jesus laid down an amazing principle there, for unlearning our pride. He introduced a relation between a child and being great. Children are simple characters. They are vulnerable therefore teachable. They don't have false pretences so they are open to learn. They don't have any prejudices and so they are willing to learn, and learn from anyone. That attitude definitely leads to growth. Jesus is not suggesting us to become childish, that would be ridiculous, instead he is asking us be childlike. Open, vulnerable, willing and honest.

Many times even though we do want to learn, we don’t listen to the message, because we are prejudiced against the messenger. We assume only those who are older, smarter and  experienced than us will be able to teach us. That’s not true. Anyone can teach us if we are willing to learn.

Everything around us has something to offer. Life has a knack of teaching us even through simple and trivial incidents and circumstances.  Everyone around us has some value to add to our lives. Whether a positive or a negative lesson. We need to first accept and believe one important truth. “EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD IS UNIQUE”. There is no other person like you in this entire world.

Psychologists divide people generally into two or four categories, based on their personality or temperamental traits. People are either extroverts or introverts. They are either Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Melancholic, or Choleric. But even psychologists agree that no two persons can have the same personality, they can have similar personalities but not the same. Truth is most of our personality traits overlap into two or more other personality types. One particular trait can be dominant, but we also have other traits mixed in us. That makes each one different from others. We are unique. Even though two people can fall into the type of Melancholic, they very much unique from each other. They might think, behave or talk similar, but not same. They are not clones, but are unique.

You are a unique person, there is no one like you in the entire world. You have a special purpose for your life. Your existence has a definite objective. You contribution to this world is distinctive, no one can give what you can offer. It’s the same with every one in this world. Every one can teach something, they can add value to our lives. Once we understand this truth, learning becomes easier and joyful for us. In fact it turns into a pleasure.

 False Humility and true meekness

No matter how good we think we are, we all have our own weaknesses. We might possess great talents, skills and strengths but there is no person with out a weakness.  We generally try to cover our weak area with our strong areas. We don’t want people to point that out to us and we like to keep it under wraps. We want people to look at our greatness and talk about it than to look at our flaws. Hence we work harder and harder to make strengths stronger and smarter, in the process we develop ‘pride’ in ourselves. That’s when we cease to grow.

What each of us need to learn is, we are not as smart as we think we are, there is always something we can learn to grow. In fact those who never stop learning are the one’s who never stop growing.

I am not suggesting we develop false humility. That is we think less of ourselves or act as if we are humble. That’s absurd and actually irritating. Have you ever met a guy who acts as if he is really nice and good guy, and that he is a great listener, when we know in reality he is a complete opposite.  It’s a foxy and hypocritical attitude. We need to be secure in our knowledge, be confident of out talents and skills, but at the same time we need to recognize the truth that everyone can contribute something valuable to our lives. That is true meekness, in other words it is being teachable.

Phillip Brooks writes: "The true way to be humble is not to stoop till you are smaller than yourself, but to stand at your real height against some higher nature that shall show you the real smallness of your greatest greatness."  We need to be people with a heart of humility, and that involves courage, faith, honesty, maturity, and a thirst for what is real.

Next post we will look at Risking a failure. Till then ciao.

Where do we lose the battle? - Disillusionment

Heroism inspires people. When we listen to the incredible story of Benaiah, who chased a lion on a snowy day into a pit and killed the lion, we are inspired. Or when we hear the three stories from the life of Steve Jobs, our hearts are moved and minds stirred. We will be challenged to fight our own battle with fierce courage and achieve what Benaiah or Steve did. These stories challenge us to become champions by staying hungry and foolish. Deep inside we want to be like them and do something monumental with our own lives. Therefore immediately, we make resolutions to imitate our heroes and follow the path they have taken and become victorious in our battles.

While some of us do taste success, many of us face bitter experience of failure. There might be thousand reasons for our failures. It could be lack of preparation; it might be wrong timing, or it could be incorrect method of execution and the list can go on. Many are disappointed or disheartened and they give up too soon. Some will try to follow through, but if they hit the wall more than once, they too conclude they are not hero material and that they are not made for this.

I suspect our resolutions weaken mainly for two reasons. In our pursual to achieve something great, we expect and wait for that one big opportunity that Steve Jobs, or David or Benaiah encountered in their own lives. Trouble is we ignore small opportunities every day. Trust me that big opportunity is never going to come to you, unless you use today’s small opportunity. Secondly, we are unwilling to change our status quo and risk something. Until we risk disrupting our present state and take the first step towards our dream we are not going anywhere.

As we begin to experience failures in our attempts to follow the footsteps of our heroes, the resolutions that are made at the beginning start to wither away. The initial fire, vigour, and passion dry up. We feel disillusioned and defeated. Some of us even feel we are cheated into imitating our heroes. As we cool down, and our fire turns lukewarm, our 'response-ability' gets toned down next time we hear same heroic act. That is, we don’t respond the same way we did at the beginning. Even though a person might be willing to learn from a story, the passion to put it into practice is washed up in failures.

Let me summarize what I have been exploring so far in last four posts. Adventures, heroism, courageous acts of our ancestors impact us to a great extent. They are needed and they need to be heard frequently. Sometimes in repeated hearing the effect gets lost. The effect caused by David’s epic battle with Goliath can be rationalised or played down showing the divine involvement as the source of success; Inspirations emanating from those stories can be ignored through indifference developed by our familiarity with the story; and repeated failures, in our attempts to live upto the challenges thrown at us by those heroic acts, can water down our resolutions and leave us disillusioned.

So what is the solution? How can we overcome these disadvantages and actually do something and inch closer to the elite club of achievers like David, Joseph, Peter or Paul?

Let me propose, what I believe are most effective, steps we need to take or skills we need to develop. They sound familiar but then they are sound.

1.       Unlearn ‘I Know’ attitude

2.       Risk the chance of failure

3.       Live one day at a time.

I'd like to take you through all of three of them in next few posts. Till then don’t let the fire go down.

“Your biggest competitor is your own view of future” – The Visionary’s Handbook

Where do we lose the battle? - Indifference

(continued from - Loss of Wonder)

Being the pastor of a church, gives me the luxury for meeting various types of people every week. Those who are passionate about life and God, those who are new and nervous, those who drag themselves around and then there are those who are simply indifferent.

In my observation, I found it strange that indifferent people are often more knowledgeable. They practically know the Bible inside out. Usually, it would take a week’s time to think through and prepare my forty minute sermon. The pattern of reaction from people after a sermon is almost always same. Passionate people will say, amazing thoughts; others will offer new perspectives, some will suggest preaching techniques and some will walk around as if nothing new has been said. These are the ones I call indifferent.

Try asking them about the sermon, they enter into a discussion that kind of gives us feeling that they already know what was spoken, and they might even add few more details. I call it the ‘I KNOW’ attitude. I often wonder how a person reaches this stage. There is an old aphorism, “Familiarity breeds contempt”; in this case, “familiarity breeds indifference”.

Our desire to learn from some brave act takes a big dent as we become more and more familiar with that event. That is the danger in repetition; it breeds indifference in few people. Once they are familiar with a story and its details, the inclination is to think ‘I Know about it all already’, and every time that story gets repeated we switch off our minds and pay no attention.  

What grows out of this attitude is pride. Though this trait may not be the choice of the person, it is what develops. If someone thinks that he knows it all, then chances are that he is never going learn anything from anyone. Unfortunately some people take that road deliberately or it just grows into them. That leaves them growth-less, fruitless and blind. Pride eats away our desire to learn and grow.

If familiarity gives birth to pride and weakens our desire to learn, then failure can wither our resolution to follow the footsteps of our heroes. Hitting a wall in an endeavor to chase lions can spell death to our resolutions.

We shall discuss…

Where do we lose the battle? – Loss of Wonder

(Continued from previous post "Should we or not? Stories -Heroes" - Chaitanya)

Heroic acts of yesterday cause inspiration and bring hope to our own everyday battles. While it is necessary for us to hear them on a repeated basis, in order to develop faith in God and build confidence in ourselves, there is also a danger of losing the heat in the process of repetition. I believe we lose our zeal to become lion chasers, and join the elite achiever’s club, as we allow the heat to simmer down.

For example, our reaction to a courageous act of a hero changes from the first time to every other time we hear it. The first time I read the story of a plowman, Shamgar, who used his ox goad to kill six hundred soldiers of philistine, I was amazed. But by the time it was repeated three times I lost the original admiration. As I discussed in my previous post, repetition of heroic stories has its own disadvantages. I laid down three of them, and I would like to explore them one by one.

The primary disadvantage is our sense of wonder diminishes. How do we lose our sense of wonder?

I think, our sense of wonder diminishes, primarily for two reasons. One is the explanation of the reasonability of a given event and other is the acceptance of the supernatural involvement in an incident. Let me explicate.

As children, every time we hear about how we have come out of our mother’s tiny womb, our minds are filled with wonder. Our eyes swell, mouths gape, and hearts pound at the incredulity of such a thing. As we grow, we learn and understand the human anatomy, we gain knowledge on the reproduction process of human species. I think that’s when the marvel of it all gets lost, in the reasonability of a baby’s birth process. You can explain it away!

The death of a giant in the hand of a teenage boy with a single sling shot will definitely raise astonishment. As the story gets repeated, we start explaining away the courage of David. This guy encountered several other perils as a shepherd boy even before he became a giant killer. He probably could kill the giant in the first attempt, because he became an expert sling shot. He had practice protecting his sheep from wolves and bears. That explanation steals the thundering feel of the story. We then conclude an act like that is possible, reasonable, and therefore achievable. Its greatness is lost. That exactly is my point, reducing a heroic act in to rational explanation can diminish the ‘wonder effect’. Our minds start rationalizing everything we hear repetitively.

The miracle of an axe head floating on water, with a simple, faith filled prayer of Elisha is simply unbelievable. Once it is established as a historical fact then the trouble starts. Anything out of ordinary will catch our attention. Floating axe head is extraordinary. Our initial response is to question the reliability of the story, once it is authenticated, the predictable conclusion would be the presence of supernatural element in it. Then the tendency for us is to think, since it is not our typical everyday happening, and there is a transcendent power involved; should I expect that power to get involved in the problems of my own tiny world? Is not, my life too small for something like that to happen on everyday basis.

A conclusion of this sort will pinch the cherishing feel of that event. Though the event itself has spectacular in it, eventually we ramble about the impracticality of anything spectacular happening in our own lives.

Did you see my point? Both, explaining away the reasonability of an event or focusing only on the  supernaturality of an event, naturally results in loss of Wonder.

Tomorrow we shall dig deeper…

Should We or Not? - Stories - Heroes

Few days back Josh, a friend of mine, posted an intriguing comment on his facebook page. “How long do we read about people like David, Benaiah, and Peter and feel good about what they did? Aren’t we called to be part of that league? Let's do something "worth His calling" with our life!”

Honestly, this comment has a resounding truth in it. Whether he made it with an encouraging tone or exasperated tone, it is something worth pondering. We can’t sit on our own comfortable chairs and do the ‘bhajans’ of those who chased lions all our lives; and yet at the same time shriek away from our own lions. Sooner or later we will inevitably get bored of listening to the same story and there is always a lurking danger of developing indifference towards those courageous acts of our heroes.

Therefore our primary question is, should we or should we not listen to the stories of heroes of the Bible?

In my personal opinion, the courageous acts of yesterday’s heroes are inspirations for today’s generation. They become useful if we ‘learn’ from them, they are useless if we just ‘listen’ to them.

Reading or listening to monumental acts of Benaiah, three thousand years ago, can bring a sense of amazement and a sense of incredulity. One man single handed chases a lion on a snowy day into a pit and kills it, with or without weapon. The story has a ‘too good to be true’ ring to it. And yet it is a true incident. A boy takes on a giant, four times taller and heavier, with a sling and a stone; a fisher man walks on water; three young men walk into a fiery furnace and walk out without a scratch. All these stories are unbelievable, but they are true, historical and authentic. No matter how many times we talk about them, they are still going to cause some wonder in some body at some point of recollection.

Psychologists say, a person needs to hear at least sixteen times for anything to turn into a belief. Therefore repetition is necessary. That is the reason, we repeatedly hear and learn the same things over and over again in different ways from the time we join nursery till we graduate from a university. My point is, not only we need to consider what our heroes have done in past but we must also hear them frequently.

Hearing these courageous acts of past has its own advantages, first of all we will always find some revelation of the character of God; we also find inspiration from them to face our own horrors; we might even end up learning few tricks for ourselves in lion hunting. Virtues like faith, courage, patience and honor are always present. These heroes will pop into our minds at right moments to fill us with hope. They are definitely beneficial and valuable.

I strongly believe there are also certain disadvantages, let me put them in simple terms. By hearing heroic stories repeatedly, our sense of wonder diminishes; our desire to learn from them weakens and our resolution to imitate them withers away over time.

So, I think the question is not really, should we or should we not talk about past heroes, or how many times are we suppose to talk about them. But the real question is, are we learning or just listening?

I plan to explore on the reasons behind these loses and find some practical solution for our predicament in the next installment.