Brian G. Hedges : A Meal with Jesus by Tim Chester (Book Notes)

Brian G. Hedges : A Meal with Jesus by Tim Chester (Book Notes): In preparation for my sermon last Sunday, I read Tim Chester’s excellent little book, A Meal with Jesus: Discovering G...

Three verbs and one bequest…1

We have now entered into the season of joy and happiness. The Christmas season. Apart from shopping, partying, going to church, family gatherings and gift sharing, can we learn anything from Christmas?

“For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

The above verse is from the Bible and it is the pearl of Christianity. If we squeeze the entire Bible into one verse, in fact if we are to condense Christianity into one single statement, it is this verse. It is the essence of Christmas. Everything about Christmas is in it; the why (purpose), the how (process) and the what (product). It is a treasure box of twenty six words, beginning with God and ending with life, and that too straight from the mouth of God in flesh (Jesus), two thousand years ago.

This mind boggling and heart stilling statement is small enough to write on a post-id, but strong enough to cause two thousand year old debate. Yet it changed the millions of lives, transformed countries, stopped wars and conquered the hearts of humanity. It simply states that God became Man to show how much He cares about Man. It is the hinge on which Christianity hangs. It is the reason for Christmas. It has three verbs – loved, gave, believe and one bequest – Life.

First Verb

If there is one ridiculously over used word in English, for that matter in any other language, it is ‘Love’. But it still has the power to bring two enemies together, stall a war, and bring down a wall that divided a nation into two. It can cause a ripple turn into waves of emotions, unfold the untold rhythms of life and joy in a person. It is a beautiful state of mind and heart. We would love to be in that state, don’t we?

Christmas is about love, not just any love but God’s way of love. They say there are four kinds of love (Eros, Philo, storge, and Agape), there is Sensual love, brotherly love, affectionate love and then there is Godly love. All of us are capable of the first three kinds and probably are experts in it, but the fourth is a speciality of God. Many a times our relationships fail and our dealings with others suck because we really do not know how to love. And in the story of Christ, God showed us how we also can achieve it, even though we might stumble few times. (well! we will stumble a looootttttttt of times!) Christmas educates us about true love, God’s way of love.

Do you want to know the kind of love God has for us…well… “Look at the round belly of the pregnant peasant girl in Bethlehem. God’s in there; the same God who can balance the universe on the tip of his finger, floats in Mother Mary’s womb. Why? Love.

Peek through the Nazareth workshop window. See the lanky lad sweeping the sawdust from the floor? He once blew stardust into the night sky. Why swap the heavens for a carpentry shop? One answer: Love.

Love explains why He came; Love explains how he endured.

His hometown kicked him out. A so-called friend betrayed him. Hucksters called God a hypocrite. Sinners called God guilty. Do termites mock an eagle, tapeworms decry the beauty of a swan? Yet God chose to allow it. Why? Love.” (Paraphrased from Max Lucado – 3:16)

True Love is supreme and it is sublime. It is a virtue only God has and He gave it only to human beings. God’s way of love involves two aspects, unconditional acceptance and forgiveness. And these are the two most important ingredients for any relationship to work.

Christ teaches us to accept people irrespective of who they are, that is caste, colour and creed. Living in a country which is divided in all aspects of its constitution, haven’t we all experienced some kind of set back or being castrated or out casted  by someone on the basis of wrong caste, wrong colour, wrong social status, wrong size or wrong address? It hurts and causes an unseen divide that runs deep in our hearts and among people of this country. This Christmas season may be we learn from Christ and become sensible and learn to accept and respect, those around us, just as they are.  There are people out there in the cold, hurt, angry, lonely, desperate,  desolate, and they need at least one person to accept them and to lean on. You could be one this season.

People hurt us, they back stab and betray us. They break our hearts with their actions and insensible words. They mock, insult and deceive us. We all have someone in our lives who committed the unthinkable. We find it hard to let that go off our lives and understandably so. There is one danger in garnering anger and vengeance, it will never make you happy. Resentment never helps. Yet that is exactly what we do when people hurt us. We become bitter, angry, cynical. We get all closed in and self-pitying. Bitterness hurts you far more than any hurt you will ever receive. No matter what anybody has ever done to you. Resentment is a self defeating attitude. It doesn't work. Today, revenge is big business. Revenge doesn't work. It always backfires. It keeps the hurt alive. When you retaliate against the hurt all you do is escalate the pain. There's only one way you'll ever get the relief and that's forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you say "It's OK that you hurt me." Forgiveness is not minimizing the hurt. Forgiveness is not saying it didn't hurt. Forgiveness is not denying that evil is done in this world. Forgiveness is allowing yourself to be healed and letting go off the guilty one unconditionally. Christ taught that while he was on the earth, people don’t deserve to be forgiven, and yet we choose to forgive them, and that’s God’s way of love. Doesn’t God forgive us all the time? Think about it. Do we really deserve all that we have in lives? I doubt it.

Do you suspect that we will never be able to exhibit that unconditional love of Christmas in our lives?…Read the story of Christina.

We will look at Second Verb in next post…

Christina

(Continued from Three verbs and One Bequest)

The small house was simple but adequate. It consisted of one large room on a dusty street. Its red-tiled roof was one of many in this poor neighbourhood on the outskirts of the Brazilian village. It was a comfortable home. Maria and her daughter, Christina, had done what they could to add colour to the grey walls and warmth to the hard dirt floor: an old calendar, a faded photograph of a relative, a wooden crucifix. The furnishings were modes: a pallet on either side of the room, a washbasin, and a wood-burning stove.

Maria’s husband had died when Christina was an infant. The young mother, stubbornly refusing opportunities to remarry, got a job and set out to raise her young daughter. And now, fifteen years later, the worst years were over. Though Maria’s salary as a maid afforded few luxuries, it was reliable and it did provide food and clothes. And now Christina was old enough to get a job to help out.

Some said Christina got her independence from her mother. She recoiled at the traditional idea of marrying young and raising a family. Not that she couldn’t have had her pick of husbands. Her olive skin and brown eyes kept a steady stream of prospects at her door. She had an infectious way of throwing her head back and filling the room with laughter. She also had that rare magic some women have that makes every man feel like a king just by being near them. But is was her spirited curiosity that made her keep all the men at arm’s length.

She spoke often of going to the city. She dreamed of trading her dusty neighbourhood for exciting avenues and city life. Just the thought of this horrified her mother. Maria was always quick to remind Christina of the harshness of the streets. “People don’t know you there. Jobs are scarce and the life is cruel. And besides, if you went there, what would you do for a living?”

Maria knew exactly what Christina would do, or would have to do for a living. That’s why her heart broke when she awoke one morning to find her daughter’s bed empty. Maria knew immediately where her daughter had gone. She also knew immediately what she must do to find her. She quickly threw some clothes in a bag, gathered up all her money, and ran out of the house.

On her way to the bus stop she entered a drugstore to get one last thing. Pictures. She sat in the photograph booth, closed the curtain, and spent all she could on pictures of herself. With the purse full of small black-and-white photos, she boarded the next bus to Rio de Janeiro.

Maria knew Christina had no way of earning money. She also knew that her daughter was too stubborn to give up. When pride meets hunger, a human will do things that were before unthinkable. Knowing this, Maria began her search. Bars, hotels, nightclubs, any place with the reputation for street walkers or prostitutes. She went to them all. And at each place she left her picture – taped on a bathroom mirror, tacked to a hotel bulletin board, fastened to a corner phone booth. And on the back of each photo she wrote a note.

It wasn’t too long before both the money and the pictures ran out, and Maria had to go home. The weary mother wept as the bus began its long journey back to her small village.

It was a few months later that young Christina descended the hotel stairs. Her young face was tired. Her brown eyes no longer danced with youth, but spoke of pain and fear. Her laughter was broken. Her dream had become a nightmare. A thousand times over she had longed to trade these countless beds for her secure pallet. Yet the little village was, in too many ways, too far away.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, her eyes noticed a familiar face. She looked again, and there on the lobby mirror was a small picture of her mother. Christina’s eyes burned and her throat tightened as she walked across the room and removed the small photo. Written on the back was this compelling invitation. “Whatever you have done, whatever you have become, it doesn’t matter. Please come home.”

She did.

(Max Lucado – No wonder they called Him saviour)

Blinded by Appearances

Our thoughts and actions are primarily based on our assumptions. We think that we are expert judges of a person just by looking at his/her outward appearance. We even presume that person’s character itself. Sadly most of us are wrong at our inference. We are mostly blinded by appearances.

When we encounter a person who is fair and handsome / beautiful, we presume he is a gentleman, while we might immediately conclude that an individual is a thief or a beggar or crooked one, because he looks shabby and distasteful. I suspect, our reactions are based on what we accept to be beautiful and ugly.

Our behaviour patterns change according to our own initial conclusions based on exteriors of a person. We receive one person pleasantly, because he is better looking; while we probably are rude to another who is scruffy.  Our prejudices, miscalculations, quick judgements lead to blindness towards the true self an individual. We may not even consider the fact that a person is not what he appears to be. This misjudgement leads not only to ill-treatment of an innocent person but also diminishes our own personal value in the sight of that person. Our callousness in estimating a person by looks alone is blindness.

In 1884 a young man died, and after the funeral his grieving parents decided to establish a memorial to him. With that in mind they met Charles Eliot, president of Harvard University. Eliot received the unpretentious couple into his office and asked what he could do for them. After they expressed their desire to fund a memorial, Eliot impatiently said, "Perhaps you have in mind a scholarship." "We were thinking of something more substantial than that... perhaps a building," the woman replied. In a patronizing tone, Eliot brushed aside the idea as being too expensive and the couple departed. The next year, Eliot learned that this plain pair had gone elsewhere and established a $26 million memorial named Leland Stanford Junior University, better known today as Stanford! (Taken from Today in the Word, June 11, 1992.)

Judging people alone by appearance will cause a heart break for both parties, first to the one who was misjudged and then to the one who misjudged.

Beauty from Ugliness

“The people who make a difference are not the ones with most credentials but the ones with the compassion” – Max Lucado

I have often wondered how an ordinary woman from some ambiguous country can come into one of the largest countries in the world and serve the poorest of the poor so well that she was the recipient of that country’s highest honour. Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu became Mother India by choosing to see beauty in ugliness. We must respect and admire people like that simply for the reason that we may never be able to achieve what they did. (Although some of us may, in our dreams!)

Waiting for bus to get home one evening; I have encountered a most repulsive being. Lost in my thoughts, I felt something moving on my right side. As I turned, I saw a man, well! actually an egg shaped head with an owl eye on one side and an elephant eye on the other (Actually, he resembled one of those crooked creatures in LOTR trilogy. Please don’t shame yourself by asking what is LOTR). Attached to the egg head, was a pumpkin with one hand that was twisted beyond hope and one leg was shorter than the other one. I just had to turn my eyes away in convulsion. It really was the ugliest sight I have ever seen. As the initial shock wave passed, I became curious, so I sat watching him with a corner eye. He was leaning on to the bus-stand railing, clothed in torn clothes, face shabby, and looked very drowsy.

My mind was filled with million thoughts. “Oh! God, what a horrible condition… I wish I could do something…I wish I have the power to make him a human being…but what could I do, I am powerless…I am not God….” While my thought process was in full swing, I saw that somehow he managed to pluck himself from the railing and moved towards a young couple that were on the other edge of the railing. I can see a loathing look in the eyes of the guy, the same look I had at first. The Ugly head was saying something and the boy was frantically waving away his hands, even as the girl simply turned her head away and sat as if nothing really is happening there.

Then, to my horror, he turned to where I was sitting. As he dragged himself along the railing towards me, I panicked. Feverishly I searched my pockets for some change, as I assumed he was begging for money. The least I can do for him is give at least a two rupee coin. To my dismay, I only had five rupees, and that’s exactly what I needed to get back home. My face turned paler and paler even as he was inching closer and closer. I wanted to help him, but I didn’t have anything to give him. Oh God! please help me.  The closer he came the faster my heart was beating. A sudden urge to disappear gushed in.

I would have quietly got up from my place and walked away, if I had not seen his face. When he was seated far away I could only see the egg head, but now as I looked at his dust filled face, a distorted drooling mouth caught the attention of my eyes and I suddenly turned numb.  My legs just gave away and got stuck to ground. My eyes bulging out of their socket, watched helplessly as the hideous head arrived. He was saying something, I was still petrified at the sight of him. I just wanted to run away. After what felt like an eternity, as if someone hit me on my head, I jolted and came back to senses. And what I heard with my ears, at that moment, changed my life forever.

“Bhayya, can you help me cross the road. My tricycle is on the other side of the road.”

Now, I understand why Mother Teresa is a Mother and I am a Moron. I guess, the probability of us starting destitute homes, orphanages, hospitals, and changing the world, as saints like Mother Teresa, are as remote as Yuvraj Singh making 10000 test runs. But I realized, what made Mother Teresa worthy of Bharat Ratna. – She chose to ‘LISTEN’.

The ugliest person I have ever stumbled upon, taught me a simple and yet the most profound lesson – If I can leave my prejudices aside and choose to listen first, I can really make a difference. Beauty from Ugliness, the oxymoron of life!

next time let’s talk about Blindness…ciao!

Indiblogger, Strangers and Bliss

My Journey as a blogger (Ok..ok…I know, I am just 10 posts old!) began sometime around October 2010. I happened to attend a conference on Creative Influence. I don’t know what I thought but I chose a track on Creative Writing. Until then I have never attempted writing seriously. I am a Pastor of a church, so I did write some stuff as articles for some magazines with a circulation of some 50 subscriptions. I know that does not count for serious writing.

Anyway at this conference, with this brilliant writer talking so much about the influence writing can have on the lives of people, I was provoked, challenged into and emotionally charged up to write a book. Our trainer spoke about the importance of writing blogs before attempting to write a book.

With my spirits up and an aim of writing a book, my pen racing like Michael Schumacher, and hoping to influence everyone with nation’s best seller, I started a blog. (I still can’t figure out, how i convinced myself that i can write a nation’s best seller.) At the first attempt I wrote three posts without a pause and then I Paused…..and man! what a pause it was…an year long! My mind couldn’t budge even an inch into the thinking zone and all excitement died with it.

Now one year later, by some friend’s comment on his facebook page i was coerced into writing a post. Within last four weeks I have finished seven posts and this is my eighth. And I am still writing and excited….entered into Writer’s Bliss zone….  So, I asked myself why this sudden change and why am i still continuing?

You see, four weeks back when I wrote my first post on “Should we or Not? Heroes – Stories”, which basically rises a thought on should we follow heroes and attempt great things like them, a fellow blogger friend gave a friendly advise to me. He suggested that I should join Indiblogger in order to gain a wider recognition and feedback for my blog.

Until then the only publicity I did was to paste some excerpts of my post on my facebook page for my friends to see and hope that they will read it and encourage me. Alas! except for two consistent friends of mine (What they saw in my writing is a mystery), no one really showed any interest. But now, I am not able to stop blogging and I realized there are two reasons behind it…indiblogger and strangers.

Once I registered my self at Indiblogger, people whom I have never met in my entire life, people who are not even in my friends list have taken time to look at my blog and some actually dared to vote for me and then some of them are insane enough to make encouraging comments on my post. I am indebted to these wonderful strangers. It is because of them I am continuing to write. My blog is experiencing a ridiculous number of hits. All because of indiblogger.

Indiblogger has become such a brilliant platform that brings some remarkable writers together. Thank you indiblogger and the team behind, you have given me a reason to do something with my dull mind, to become a better person and healthier writer. It’s such a beautiful experience to have Strangers as friends. Thank you Strangers (Now, my virtual friends) for your encouragement. Thank you for patting my back. Without you, I would have by now hit the wall in my head. (It is also possible I would have hit the wall with my head too)

How long this bliss will continue, I do not know…but I suspect as long as indiblogger exists, and as long as these strangers on the other side keep hitting my blog, it’s going to be a long bliss….

Live One Day At a Time!

Attempting heroism or doing something crazy is generally not our career option. Once in a blue moon, inspired by some historical figure and their achievements, we become inclined to take steps towards a change. Emotionally charged up by some brilliant quote, we dare to take a risk and set ourselves for a new challenge. We lay down goals, define objectives, strategize and gamble a little discomfort in our routine life. Some of us even risk  a chance of failure. We are all set and are ready to be successful.

While some of us are going to live up to the expectations, many of us will be washed up in failure. Disappointment follows us in every endeavour we chanced. We are fighters, we don’t give up that easily. So we will pick ourselves and move ahead, hoping to hit the goal some where along the road. In this journey, as we consistently encounter set backs, our resolutions weaken. Disillusionment kicks in. It hurts when we fail, it is really disheartening when the occurrence of malfunction is consistent. Even as we lose the grip on our resolutions, we hope and wait for ‘that one big’ opportunity. But even ‘that big one’ doesn’t present itself. Ultimately we throw the arms down and conclude, ‘May be, we are better the way we are now’. Why try hero stuff?

I think in entire process of heroes, stories, quotes, lessons, inspirations, emotional charges, resolutions, attempts, failures, bumping into walls, waiting for opportunities, experiencing failures again and finally giving up, we miss our biggest asset: TODAY. We utterly disregard the importance of living one day at a time.

Importance of Today

“Fact is we exaggerate yesterday, we overestimate tomorrow, and we underestimate today: People create success in their lives by focussing on today” – Equip

I generally write down everything I think for my blog in a note book. On it’s cover there is a simple statement, but I think it is very powerful. It says, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”. It is absolutely true. Today is not only the first day, but it is the best day of your life, it is the big opportunity you have been waiting for, and it is the only day on which you can do something. Truth is, it is too late for yesterday, yesterday is gone. You can’t depend on tomorrow, you don’t know what tomorrow holds. Therefore you are left with Today, and what you do with today matters most. The way you choose to invest your time today directly affects your tomorrow.

No matter how much I write and encourage, all of it will not make sense to you, until you choose to believe in today. Not just to believe, but what you do with it is of great consequence. We will be able to make use of today effectively when we change our perspectives. Change should be brought about  both in our perspective of success and as well as in our perspective of problems in the path to success.

Success – Importance of Bits and Pieces

We generally have a faulty view of success, and that leads to underutilization of today. We believe success is impossible, or that it is luck or we associate it with hard work and attaining power, or we strive to achieve it through connections and recognitions and we fall flat on faces. Some may have created some sensation following those ideas, but eventually all the hype will die down in true light. Some of us have a slogan, repeating which we spend our entire life– “If Only…”

What we need to understand is that Success is relative. It is different for each person. You cannot live somebody else’s glory. All of us cannot become Abdul Kalam or Manmohan or Kiran Bedi or Aamir Khan. For one person, giving up a well paying job and pursuing film making is success; even if the first film fails. For another walking on to the dais in front of an audience of five colleagues and delivering a five minute introduction about himself is  success. For a chronic smoker, spending an entire day with a single smoke is success. For someone who is extremely shy, even asking a girl’s name is success. Success depends on what each person achieves day in and day out.

The secret behind many successful people is that they choose to live one day at a time. Instead of waiting for tomorrow’s big opportunity, and sitting in their cosy couch today, they choose to achieve something each day and then look forward to the next day. Something marvellous takes place with these kind of people. Everyday, success in small scales, in bits and pieces gets accumulated in their lives. Today’s success adds up to what that person achieves tomorrow and the cycle continues, till one day the culmination of all these would spell a Mahindra Singh Dhoni or Amartya Sen or YOU.

We suffer with destination disease. We convince ourselves that if we are supposed to be successful, then we will be. No, we are dead wrong.  We need to wake up and make choices today. Making right decisions and managing them daily is the formula of success. Success is in our daily agenda. Someone said, “Never postpone what you can do today to tomorrow. Chances are tomorrow never arrives.” If we can choose to develop a perspective that says, ‘I will achieve the best I can today and then wait for tomorrow’, we will make a difference in and through our lives. You can then attain what you have been dreaming all along.

Problem – Turn the Table Around

Journey to success is never easy. Hurdles, bumps and thorns are inevitable. We will encounter problems; a new crisis arises there, a complication shoots up here, unexpected issues take place among team members leading us to a frustrated state. It seems as if we are surrounded by more nuisance, than before the resolution. What used be a comfortable life before resolutions now turns into a complicated life. Our focus now moves from our actual goal to dealing with present problems. Objective becomes obscure and we are fending off troubles and trying to get out as quickly as possible. It is exactly there, we lose the battle. But that’s not what we want, is it?

Since problems are predictable, we must learn the art of facing problems. I suggest we learn to reframe our response-ability in order to increase our achieve-ability. Viktor Frankl was one among the millions of Jews, who had to endure the horrors of the holocaust. Nazis took everything away from them; even their names, and gave them numbers. Years after this horrific experience he writes, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” The most important choice you make everyday is your attitude. Your perspective of problem decides whether or not you will be a victor.

In order to turn the table around as we encounter problems, we must learn two truths. These truths will help us to develop a new perspective of our problems, help us to look at them as opportunities instead of problems. The first truth is, adversity is often the seedbed of opportunity. Bad situations have a tendency to bring the best out of us. We get more creative, innovative and wise when we are thrown against a wall. Adversity can produce an increased capacity in us to become better people. We all want everyday to be a good day. But if all the days are good days, there would be no ‘good days’. Bad days help us to appreciate good days. The second truth is, getting what we wish for can result in unintended and undesirable consequences. A sociologist called Robert Merton calls this, the law of Unintended consequences. Do you remember the Greek mythological story, Midas Touch? Sometimes when things go wrong, be thankful because it might turn out be a blessing in disguise. These problems probably will save us from unintended consequences.

Once we understand these truths and reframe our perspective of problem, living one day at time becomes easy. We may not be able to face all the days and years together, but we can surely face one day at a time. My challenge to you is learn to live one day at a time. It is then failure won’t seem like a problem, hurdles are easier to cross, resolutions can be renewed, fears can be faced, giants can be forced to fall, and adventurous living can be a pleasure.

Let me finish my series with this short quote from an author called, Mark Batterson.

“Here’s what i have learned from personal experience: Sickness helps us appreciate health. Failure helps us appreciate success. Debt helps us appreciate wealth. And tough times help us appreciate the good times. That’s just the way life is. I’ve also learned that our worst days can become our best days.”

Until next time…learn to appreciate your problems.

Technorati Tags: problems,today,disappointment,resolutions,unintended consequences,adversity,destination,opportunity,midas touch

Risk the chance of Failure

One of the biggest fears we face is, typically regarding our future. It is natural to experience fear when we suddenly lose our job, or told by doctors that our child is suffering from a rare bone disease or something like that. When our future is in jeopardy and we are unsure of what is next, we struggle to make decisions. We usually are careful in touching the water when it comes to those life altering decisions. It is natural and in a sense it is healthy. If we are not smart and careful with our life, we lose it for good. Yet some people can be really reckless and dumb in the way they deal with life and important decisions. But majority are sensible and judicious.

 

Being careful is one thing and living in fear is completely another thing. Most of us, while trying to be careful, allow the fear of future get the better of us. Entrapped by fear we feel motionless, life gets squeezed out of us. This uncertainty regarding future probably starts with loss of a job, but now spreads into all the areas of our life. We begin to panic even for trivial issues. That, I believe is unhealthy. Fear has monstrous power. It cripples growth, keeps people in helpless state. Loss of personal confidence, trust in others, developing phobias are inevitable effects of fear.

Disrupting Status Quo!

 

When we are inspired by the stories of great heroes, we make resolutions to follow them and achieve something, even if it is not as great as theirs. May be to pursue a dream career or purchase a beautiful beach house or at least sing in an office party. As we prepare ourselves to move towards that dream, strangely fear engulfs us, it grips our hearts and we begin to hesitate. Many times I wondered what could be the reason behind this vacillation. I suspect our indecision is not because we need to do something heroic, but because we need to do something different. Doing something different means we need to change what is regular. Change in routine, change in our status quo, change in what we are already comfortable with and we don’t like that.

 

Somehow change scares us to death. Disturbing a comfortable life is unpleasant. In an attempt to do something new, as long as change is not required we will be fine. If we feel confident that our future is secure, then we proceed. Doing something heroic then, is not a big deal. But the moment we realize our next step leads to a blind alley we hesitate, we take a back step. Disrupting the status quo is not our forte.

 

Let me open your eyes. Unless we are willing to change and attempt something we never did, we will never be able to achieve what we have never achieved. If you want to have something you never had, you need to do something you never did. Translation: TAKE A RISK!

 

Everyone is a risk taker.

Whether we realize it or not we are all risk takers. A Pastor in Houston talking about faith said something like this, “We all take risks everyday. When we have a fever we go to a doctor whose full name we cannot remember, he tells us that we have a disease, whose name we cannot pronounce, he then gives us a prescription, which we  cannot even read; we take that to a pharmacist, whom we have never met, he takes out and gives us a medicine, whose combination we cannot understand, but we go home, take it with a glass of water and go to bed peacefully, completely confident that we are going to be cured soon.”

 

Aren’t we all risk takers? Whatever we buy from the market, whether milk, water, cola, vegetables, oil, rice, everything is produced or manufactured by an unknown person, from an unknown location, with possibly unknown ingredients. Yet we purchase and use them without even thinking twice. Point is, we show tremendous trust in these unknown people concerning our daily needs. We are risk takers.

 

But then we are also people with fear. We are scared to take a vacation from a hectic job for the fear losing the job. Scared to leave a job and start a dream business, scared to move up in relationship and get married, sacred to invest in a new venture, scared to face up to an irritating boss, and scared of anything uncertain. That is why for many of us, life is a drag. It is futile, it’s frustrating. Dull.

 

Risk the chance of Failure

You might argue that buying a product at a supermarket is less riskier than leaving a job and starting a business. I don’t agree with that for one simple reason, a risk is a risk, small or big. When you pick a product from a shop, you believe it will work for you, irrespective of the final result. When you take a step towards an uncertain future you are doing the same, believing that it will work. Sometimes it might look stupid, but then an Indian Man buying a fairness cream to become a ‘gora’ is stupid.

 

I think the challenge is, some of us need to risk changing the jobs, leaving jobs, starting business, pursuing your heart, learn guitar, getting married, having children, buying a dream house or trying out “Dance India Dance” or “Indian Idol”. Don’t allow fear to swallow you up. Try smiling at your arch enemy at office, or tell you boss that he is wrong (If he is really wrong, otherwise, it’s a suicide and I am not responsible), or go back to college and finish graduation or propose to the girl you have always admired but never dared even to say hi, or try believing in God. Do something different from what you have been doing so far. I bet your life will take a whole new dimension.

 

Trying something new means we are also risking a chance of failure. Not everyone will be successful in their ventures. Some of us will fail, possibly for thousand reasons. Sometimes risk involves failure. Failure is not a bad thing, if we are willing to learn from our mistakes, rather than sulking. There are plenty of occasions where we fail even when we have not committed any mistake. External factors, circumstantial elements can work against us. Question is what have you lost? If we lost all the money we saved up, in one single new venture, we can always earn it back through other ways. Lost your job for a dream project? You got skills, you got guts, so you will find a new job. It probably might be better than the lost one. Opportunities present themselves to those who keep using them.

 

If you have not lost your life, you have lost nothing. Wealth can be earned back. Jobs can be found. Houses can be bought back. Everything is possible as long as we have life. I strongly believe, when our intentions are right and the path we choose is ethical and correct, we can always gamble a chance of failure. We won’t regret.

“If you think you are beaten, you are; If you think you dare not, you don’t; If you’d like to win but think you cant, it’s almost certain you won’t; Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger and  faster men, but sooner or later, the man wins is the one who thinks he can.”

Next post we shall try to learn living for today.

Unlearn the ‘I Know’ Attitude

In his book, ‘Winning with People’, John Maxwell talks about different kinds of learning attitudes. He says there are basically three types of attitudes: arrogant, naive and teachable. All of us posses one of these attitudes. The Arrogant people think they don't need to learn anything from anyone. Naive people believe only one person can teach them everything, while the teachable people learn from every one and every thing that is around them. He concludes that the people who make an impact on others around them are those who are teachable. I strongly believe he expressed it perfectly.

As we get familiar with stories and lessons of heroic acts we tend to believe that we know it all. That gives birth to indifference which ultimately leads to an ‘I Know it all’ attitude. The other name for this kind of attitude is Pride. (More on this please read – Indifference)

‘I Know it all’ is Dangerous

There is an old saying, “Pride comes before fall”. When a person begins to believe that he knows everything that there is to know, he has taken the path of self-destruction. This attitude is dangerous as it produces damaging results. For starters, it blinds us from all truth. We are shut from any new revelations or further knowledge and this stunts our over all personal growth. Have you not seen those who reached certain positions in their lives, begin to behave as if they don't need anyone to tell them anything any more? What they don’t realize is that this attitude actually hurts them more. This kind of attitude keeps us in the same place we are in now and we don't grow to newer heights. Another danger is that we end up making the same mistakes all over. Since we are not open to learn, and we believe that we know everything and that everything we are doing is perfect and right, we become blind to our own mistakes. We continue to flunk again and again, and not able to figure out what’s wrong. The most damaging aspect is that we strain our relations with others. We need to understand that we can’t survive in this world alone. You can’t change that truth. And our arrogant attitude hurts our relationships. When we begin to behave as if we don’t need others, misunderstandings take birth, egos get clashed, people begin distance themselves from us and relationships crash.

Truth is we are not born with this attitude, we all have learnt it. Hence the good news is we can unlearn it. Getting rid of ‘I Know’ attitude is possible if we are willing to ‘pay attention’. Willingness to listen helps us to become teachable.

Pay Attention

The most difficult part in unlearning process is to agree that we are arrogant. People don't agree they are full of pride, they rationalize, minimize or deny it. So it takes honesty to have a real look at your ‘self’ and come to terms with your attitude. When a person can agree that he has been prideful, then it is easy for him become a learner.

Once an argument broke out between the disciples of Jesus. It was on who can is the greatest among them. Since they could not come to a conclusion (which is obvious) they came to Jesus for solution. At that time, Jesus was surrounded by many people who came to listen to Him, and there were also children. Jesus then called one child to Him, and made the kid stand in the middle of all these people and disciples and said “Unless you become like this child, you will not be the greatest”. Now that’s a radical thought!

I believe, Jesus laid down an amazing principle there, for unlearning our pride. He introduced a relation between a child and being great. Children are simple characters. They are vulnerable therefore teachable. They don't have false pretences so they are open to learn. They don't have any prejudices and so they are willing to learn, and learn from anyone. That attitude definitely leads to growth. Jesus is not suggesting us to become childish, that would be ridiculous, instead he is asking us be childlike. Open, vulnerable, willing and honest.

Many times even though we do want to learn, we don’t listen to the message, because we are prejudiced against the messenger. We assume only those who are older, smarter and  experienced than us will be able to teach us. That’s not true. Anyone can teach us if we are willing to learn.

Everything around us has something to offer. Life has a knack of teaching us even through simple and trivial incidents and circumstances.  Everyone around us has some value to add to our lives. Whether a positive or a negative lesson. We need to first accept and believe one important truth. “EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD IS UNIQUE”. There is no other person like you in this entire world.

Psychologists divide people generally into two or four categories, based on their personality or temperamental traits. People are either extroverts or introverts. They are either Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Melancholic, or Choleric. But even psychologists agree that no two persons can have the same personality, they can have similar personalities but not the same. Truth is most of our personality traits overlap into two or more other personality types. One particular trait can be dominant, but we also have other traits mixed in us. That makes each one different from others. We are unique. Even though two people can fall into the type of Melancholic, they very much unique from each other. They might think, behave or talk similar, but not same. They are not clones, but are unique.

You are a unique person, there is no one like you in the entire world. You have a special purpose for your life. Your existence has a definite objective. You contribution to this world is distinctive, no one can give what you can offer. It’s the same with every one in this world. Every one can teach something, they can add value to our lives. Once we understand this truth, learning becomes easier and joyful for us. In fact it turns into a pleasure.

 False Humility and true meekness

No matter how good we think we are, we all have our own weaknesses. We might possess great talents, skills and strengths but there is no person with out a weakness.  We generally try to cover our weak area with our strong areas. We don’t want people to point that out to us and we like to keep it under wraps. We want people to look at our greatness and talk about it than to look at our flaws. Hence we work harder and harder to make strengths stronger and smarter, in the process we develop ‘pride’ in ourselves. That’s when we cease to grow.

What each of us need to learn is, we are not as smart as we think we are, there is always something we can learn to grow. In fact those who never stop learning are the one’s who never stop growing.

I am not suggesting we develop false humility. That is we think less of ourselves or act as if we are humble. That’s absurd and actually irritating. Have you ever met a guy who acts as if he is really nice and good guy, and that he is a great listener, when we know in reality he is a complete opposite.  It’s a foxy and hypocritical attitude. We need to be secure in our knowledge, be confident of out talents and skills, but at the same time we need to recognize the truth that everyone can contribute something valuable to our lives. That is true meekness, in other words it is being teachable.

Phillip Brooks writes: "The true way to be humble is not to stoop till you are smaller than yourself, but to stand at your real height against some higher nature that shall show you the real smallness of your greatest greatness."  We need to be people with a heart of humility, and that involves courage, faith, honesty, maturity, and a thirst for what is real.

Next post we will look at Risking a failure. Till then ciao.

Where do we lose the battle? - Disillusionment

Heroism inspires people. When we listen to the incredible story of Benaiah, who chased a lion on a snowy day into a pit and killed the lion, we are inspired. Or when we hear the three stories from the life of Steve Jobs, our hearts are moved and minds stirred. We will be challenged to fight our own battle with fierce courage and achieve what Benaiah or Steve did. These stories challenge us to become champions by staying hungry and foolish. Deep inside we want to be like them and do something monumental with our own lives. Therefore immediately, we make resolutions to imitate our heroes and follow the path they have taken and become victorious in our battles.

While some of us do taste success, many of us face bitter experience of failure. There might be thousand reasons for our failures. It could be lack of preparation; it might be wrong timing, or it could be incorrect method of execution and the list can go on. Many are disappointed or disheartened and they give up too soon. Some will try to follow through, but if they hit the wall more than once, they too conclude they are not hero material and that they are not made for this.

I suspect our resolutions weaken mainly for two reasons. In our pursual to achieve something great, we expect and wait for that one big opportunity that Steve Jobs, or David or Benaiah encountered in their own lives. Trouble is we ignore small opportunities every day. Trust me that big opportunity is never going to come to you, unless you use today’s small opportunity. Secondly, we are unwilling to change our status quo and risk something. Until we risk disrupting our present state and take the first step towards our dream we are not going anywhere.

As we begin to experience failures in our attempts to follow the footsteps of our heroes, the resolutions that are made at the beginning start to wither away. The initial fire, vigour, and passion dry up. We feel disillusioned and defeated. Some of us even feel we are cheated into imitating our heroes. As we cool down, and our fire turns lukewarm, our 'response-ability' gets toned down next time we hear same heroic act. That is, we don’t respond the same way we did at the beginning. Even though a person might be willing to learn from a story, the passion to put it into practice is washed up in failures.

Let me summarize what I have been exploring so far in last four posts. Adventures, heroism, courageous acts of our ancestors impact us to a great extent. They are needed and they need to be heard frequently. Sometimes in repeated hearing the effect gets lost. The effect caused by David’s epic battle with Goliath can be rationalised or played down showing the divine involvement as the source of success; Inspirations emanating from those stories can be ignored through indifference developed by our familiarity with the story; and repeated failures, in our attempts to live upto the challenges thrown at us by those heroic acts, can water down our resolutions and leave us disillusioned.

So what is the solution? How can we overcome these disadvantages and actually do something and inch closer to the elite club of achievers like David, Joseph, Peter or Paul?

Let me propose, what I believe are most effective, steps we need to take or skills we need to develop. They sound familiar but then they are sound.

1.       Unlearn ‘I Know’ attitude

2.       Risk the chance of failure

3.       Live one day at a time.

I'd like to take you through all of three of them in next few posts. Till then don’t let the fire go down.

“Your biggest competitor is your own view of future” – The Visionary’s Handbook

Where do we lose the battle? - Indifference

(continued from - Loss of Wonder)

Being the pastor of a church, gives me the luxury for meeting various types of people every week. Those who are passionate about life and God, those who are new and nervous, those who drag themselves around and then there are those who are simply indifferent.

In my observation, I found it strange that indifferent people are often more knowledgeable. They practically know the Bible inside out. Usually, it would take a week’s time to think through and prepare my forty minute sermon. The pattern of reaction from people after a sermon is almost always same. Passionate people will say, amazing thoughts; others will offer new perspectives, some will suggest preaching techniques and some will walk around as if nothing new has been said. These are the ones I call indifferent.

Try asking them about the sermon, they enter into a discussion that kind of gives us feeling that they already know what was spoken, and they might even add few more details. I call it the ‘I KNOW’ attitude. I often wonder how a person reaches this stage. There is an old aphorism, “Familiarity breeds contempt”; in this case, “familiarity breeds indifference”.

Our desire to learn from some brave act takes a big dent as we become more and more familiar with that event. That is the danger in repetition; it breeds indifference in few people. Once they are familiar with a story and its details, the inclination is to think ‘I Know about it all already’, and every time that story gets repeated we switch off our minds and pay no attention.  

What grows out of this attitude is pride. Though this trait may not be the choice of the person, it is what develops. If someone thinks that he knows it all, then chances are that he is never going learn anything from anyone. Unfortunately some people take that road deliberately or it just grows into them. That leaves them growth-less, fruitless and blind. Pride eats away our desire to learn and grow.

If familiarity gives birth to pride and weakens our desire to learn, then failure can wither our resolution to follow the footsteps of our heroes. Hitting a wall in an endeavor to chase lions can spell death to our resolutions.

We shall discuss…

Where do we lose the battle? – Loss of Wonder

(Continued from previous post "Should we or not? Stories -Heroes" - Chaitanya)

Heroic acts of yesterday cause inspiration and bring hope to our own everyday battles. While it is necessary for us to hear them on a repeated basis, in order to develop faith in God and build confidence in ourselves, there is also a danger of losing the heat in the process of repetition. I believe we lose our zeal to become lion chasers, and join the elite achiever’s club, as we allow the heat to simmer down.

For example, our reaction to a courageous act of a hero changes from the first time to every other time we hear it. The first time I read the story of a plowman, Shamgar, who used his ox goad to kill six hundred soldiers of philistine, I was amazed. But by the time it was repeated three times I lost the original admiration. As I discussed in my previous post, repetition of heroic stories has its own disadvantages. I laid down three of them, and I would like to explore them one by one.

The primary disadvantage is our sense of wonder diminishes. How do we lose our sense of wonder?

I think, our sense of wonder diminishes, primarily for two reasons. One is the explanation of the reasonability of a given event and other is the acceptance of the supernatural involvement in an incident. Let me explicate.

As children, every time we hear about how we have come out of our mother’s tiny womb, our minds are filled with wonder. Our eyes swell, mouths gape, and hearts pound at the incredulity of such a thing. As we grow, we learn and understand the human anatomy, we gain knowledge on the reproduction process of human species. I think that’s when the marvel of it all gets lost, in the reasonability of a baby’s birth process. You can explain it away!

The death of a giant in the hand of a teenage boy with a single sling shot will definitely raise astonishment. As the story gets repeated, we start explaining away the courage of David. This guy encountered several other perils as a shepherd boy even before he became a giant killer. He probably could kill the giant in the first attempt, because he became an expert sling shot. He had practice protecting his sheep from wolves and bears. That explanation steals the thundering feel of the story. We then conclude an act like that is possible, reasonable, and therefore achievable. Its greatness is lost. That exactly is my point, reducing a heroic act in to rational explanation can diminish the ‘wonder effect’. Our minds start rationalizing everything we hear repetitively.

The miracle of an axe head floating on water, with a simple, faith filled prayer of Elisha is simply unbelievable. Once it is established as a historical fact then the trouble starts. Anything out of ordinary will catch our attention. Floating axe head is extraordinary. Our initial response is to question the reliability of the story, once it is authenticated, the predictable conclusion would be the presence of supernatural element in it. Then the tendency for us is to think, since it is not our typical everyday happening, and there is a transcendent power involved; should I expect that power to get involved in the problems of my own tiny world? Is not, my life too small for something like that to happen on everyday basis.

A conclusion of this sort will pinch the cherishing feel of that event. Though the event itself has spectacular in it, eventually we ramble about the impracticality of anything spectacular happening in our own lives.

Did you see my point? Both, explaining away the reasonability of an event or focusing only on the  supernaturality of an event, naturally results in loss of Wonder.

Tomorrow we shall dig deeper…

Should We or Not? - Stories - Heroes

Few days back Josh, a friend of mine, posted an intriguing comment on his facebook page. “How long do we read about people like David, Benaiah, and Peter and feel good about what they did? Aren’t we called to be part of that league? Let's do something "worth His calling" with our life!”

Honestly, this comment has a resounding truth in it. Whether he made it with an encouraging tone or exasperated tone, it is something worth pondering. We can’t sit on our own comfortable chairs and do the ‘bhajans’ of those who chased lions all our lives; and yet at the same time shriek away from our own lions. Sooner or later we will inevitably get bored of listening to the same story and there is always a lurking danger of developing indifference towards those courageous acts of our heroes.

Therefore our primary question is, should we or should we not listen to the stories of heroes of the Bible?

In my personal opinion, the courageous acts of yesterday’s heroes are inspirations for today’s generation. They become useful if we ‘learn’ from them, they are useless if we just ‘listen’ to them.

Reading or listening to monumental acts of Benaiah, three thousand years ago, can bring a sense of amazement and a sense of incredulity. One man single handed chases a lion on a snowy day into a pit and kills it, with or without weapon. The story has a ‘too good to be true’ ring to it. And yet it is a true incident. A boy takes on a giant, four times taller and heavier, with a sling and a stone; a fisher man walks on water; three young men walk into a fiery furnace and walk out without a scratch. All these stories are unbelievable, but they are true, historical and authentic. No matter how many times we talk about them, they are still going to cause some wonder in some body at some point of recollection.

Psychologists say, a person needs to hear at least sixteen times for anything to turn into a belief. Therefore repetition is necessary. That is the reason, we repeatedly hear and learn the same things over and over again in different ways from the time we join nursery till we graduate from a university. My point is, not only we need to consider what our heroes have done in past but we must also hear them frequently.

Hearing these courageous acts of past has its own advantages, first of all we will always find some revelation of the character of God; we also find inspiration from them to face our own horrors; we might even end up learning few tricks for ourselves in lion hunting. Virtues like faith, courage, patience and honor are always present. These heroes will pop into our minds at right moments to fill us with hope. They are definitely beneficial and valuable.

I strongly believe there are also certain disadvantages, let me put them in simple terms. By hearing heroic stories repeatedly, our sense of wonder diminishes; our desire to learn from them weakens and our resolution to imitate them withers away over time.

So, I think the question is not really, should we or should we not talk about past heroes, or how many times are we suppose to talk about them. But the real question is, are we learning or just listening?

I plan to explore on the reasons behind these loses and find some practical solution for our predicament in the next installment.

Lost without a clue - Arvind

Arvind was born in a small lazy town called Zaheerabad. It had all that a town needs to have. Born in a middle class home, he could not have all that he wants. From schooldays itself, his parents told him, the purpose of his life is to become an engineer. They narrated the days of drought and hunger they faced, before they made it in life. What we have today is the result of back breaking work. They want him to have better life. They concluded that the only way to be happy in life is to study hard, find a well paying profession, build a home and have some money deposited in bank. If Arvind does that, it would be make them happy. So Arvind made it his goal, to keep his parents happy.

He worked hard at his education. Stayed up in the nights and finished all assignments, wrote his exams well, or so he thought. The problem with Arvind is that he is an average student. No matter how much he tried to keep up with his fellow students, the results were always average. His parents really discontented, they blamed his for not doing enough. So, he worked harder, but nothing about his subjects gets into his head. His heart was somewhere.

He found that he a knack for painting things around him. Every time he sees a painting, his heart longs to feel it, his mind fills with vivid pictures, sceneries, which he would like to paint. His fingers would twitch at the thought of art. He tried to explain his feelings to his parents. They thought it was silly, they were not too happy about it. Which fool would make painting as his profession, they asked him. He needs to concentrate on studies instead of day dreaming, they warned him.

So, he snubbed his passion, and tried to put his mind on getting through engineering. He needed to clear pre university exam and write an entrance for engineering. He got through the former but flunked the later. His parents felt all their dreams and hopes are now crushed, they blamed it on his waywardness and his foolish desire to become a painter.

He knew he was not achieving his goal of keeping them happy. But what can he do? He is just not into math’s or physics. He declared its time for him to pursue his dream. All he did till this point of his life is to please his parents, find their approval, and experience their love as they accept him just as he is. He did everything he can to gain it but never actually achieving it.

Arvind moved to Hyderabad, a city 100 kms away. He thought in the city he can find a foothold for his dreams. Finding admission in an arts college was easy, but existing in a city for three years was difficult. So he did odd jobs to keep himself going while pursuing his dream. The sad looks of his parents, filled with resentment and disgust, still haunt him. He failed them, now he needs to make it up to them. By becoming a renowned artist, earning wealth, he thought he can.

The world of art is small, in that the community of art patrons is minuscule. These patrons are high profilers; they are not accessible for normal people like him. If you need to be recognized as an artist, you need to be artist par excellence or at least a man of influence. Great artists need patience to be recognized and accepted. That is one thing he can’t afford, time. He needs to prove his parents wrong, so after the graduation he moved from place to place and person to person to get his paintings recognized. None had time for him, or thought he is just an amateur and needs time for growth.

For five years, he painted, stalked galleries, few were accepted, most rejected. He wondered, whether his parents were right. May be this was not what he was made to do, may be something else. There are no cheerleaders around; parents practically gave up on him. Pain of being a loser is haunting him. For a few days he juggled with the idea of going back home. With what face he can go back? Empty handed, sense of shame? Even if he returns, will his parents ever accept him?

Finally he decided, he can’t survive in the city any more. He headed home. His parents did allow him, but not before lecturing him on, he should have listened to them. His father found a job for him at a municipal office, said that’s all he can do for him. He better settle down. Arvind accepted it; at least his parents took him back. He will work hard and earn money and make his parents happy.

He soon realized though his parents allowed him back home; they always carried a sense of reminder with them, about how he failed them. Arvind wonders everyday, when will he make his parents happy? When will they accept him just as he and show some love? Will he ever find a meaning for his life?

In some lives, questions are never answered, until they find love.

“One's real life is often the life that one does not lead.” - Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), L'Envoi, 1882

Lost without a clue - 2

Life without a purpose either makes a person to loose all hope or loose all decency. Unfortunately for her, it was the later. She was the personification of vulgarity.

Her life was a complete mess. Well, through a series of bad choices, she ended up where she is now. She is a prostitute, whether by profession or by nature itself, is a mystery. Gomer was her name. Except for her father’s name, no one knows anything about her past. Who wants to know!!!!, when she has a gorgeous body to offer for a price.

Life probably has been cruel to her, so she learned from life and became cruel. There no more morals or values in her, no more principle to guide her. She got rid of them long ago. Why did she become a tramp is a question left unanswered. Whatever the reasons were, she did make a choice to become one.

It might have started with a pursuit of to finds love, only to wind up with a wrong lover. That one used her and left with a mark on her soul. In order to wipe away the stain, she decked herself with rings and jewelry and went after more lovers. Through a chain of heart breaks, string of relationships, faltering choices, she became who she is today. People forgot her name, they now know her as an adulterer, a tramp, pervert, harlot and a floozy.

In retrospect, isn’t that many of us lost our original names too. People call us with different names now. A cheat, scoundrel, addict, useless, thief, jerk, fool and list can go on.

Gomer does not care about it any more. Her soul became stone hard. If the world is going to pitiless, so shall she be. Everybody talks about her. Men whisper among themselves about their adventures with her, Women gossip about her cheap character. Everybody stares at her. Men measuring her body with their eyes, women with resentment and rage in their eyes. But nothing really bothers her any more, except somewhere in the corner of her heart, a haunting sense of impoverishment.

Gomer is a common name. In the Bible there are only two Gomers. One a male and the other is a female. The name in Hebrew language means ‘Completion’. What an oxymoron, her life is anything but complete! Deep within we also know that we are incomplete. From the exterior we look we are cheerful, the world around thinks we are blissful. But internally our souls are experiencing desiccation, a sense of dryness. We are searching for ways to break this mould, in which we are stuck, hunting for someone or something to set us free from this hell.

For Gomer, what started off as a single act of pleasing the lover has slowly curved into a source of luxury, which now became her Achilles' heel. Her body is addicted to sex, its like a drug that needs to be injected into her veins. She does not like it any more than we do, no prostitute is happy with her profession. She wants to change, she needs a change, but her flesh just would not listen. It craves for gratification. At the sight of men, especially men with loads of wealth, it pounds on to them like a hungry hyena.

The state of being obsessed with something is familiar to all of us. The cravings to pursue that which we really want to get rid of; the thirst for the unexplored and unknown is proverbial in our lives. Flesh is uncontrollable; it ignores the warnings of the mind. Reason fails to convince and we gleefully beg after that which destroys our soul.

While Gomer’s body pursues the forbidden, her spirit became senseless. Dry, parched and a desert likeness saturate her spirit now. She does not know where her life is going, its not that she care about it. She had no agenda, no purpose no sense of direction, no value for life. She is lost with out a clue.

Lost without a clue

The Quality of a journey depends on the knowledge of the destiny. Any journey which began without a proper destination in mind, can drift from its path easily and be lost without a clue.

Our lives are often compared to journeys. Each one is on a journey to somewhere. Many do not know where they are going; some think that they know, while a rare group of people actually know their destination. At heart, many of us recognize the fact that in the chaos of life’s bustle, we have lost our way without a clue.

Any journey began on the basis of a misinformation leads people into a maze called Street Jam. Looking from where you are, there are too many streets, multiple signboards, and flood of voices calling out to you that this is the right path. Every street looks correct, every signboard displays seemingly right information and every voice exudes positivity. Stranded in this street jam, we wonder which way to go?

Some, who began on a positive note, are caught in the web of lies along the way. Some of which are self spun. It would have started with one small lie, may be to avoid a particular situation or an irritating person, but subtly it spun around the throat so thick, now it is hard even to breathe. Intensely entangled, unable to move, hurting, we are lost without a clue.

The familiarity of the voice that comes from the deepest part of a person’s soul, who is enslaved, is crystal clear to all of us, because we ourselves have screamed it out many times. It says, “Help me…I am lost”. The eternal search for redemption from this slavery is universal.

Lured by the mysterious pleasure of sexuality, enslaved by pornography or adultery; Attracted by the adventure of an alternate lifestyle, stuck in homosexuality; a slight bend towards peer pressure, imprisoned by an addiction; tasting the success of smooth talk, losing the character in the process; succumbed by a feel of triumph, entangled in a string of relationships, this is the story of many lives. It could be as true as yours.

Being without a clue as to where to go, could be the most dangerous place to be in a voyage. Lostness has a way of taking away intrinsic value of an individual. It takes away the drive to enjoy the pleasures of life, feeling of being robbed and a state of vulnerability sets in. Purposelessness engulfs the very core of our soul. A lost person moves to the point of questioning his very existence. People who are clueless suffer with identity loss, they feel worthless, cornered and loss of value for their lives. Life is now insignificant because there is no rationale to live for.

“Purpose is what gives life a meaning” – Charles H Perkhurst.